Trenutno si v kategoriji: Angleški vici



adelle

radijska postaja 1: Hello
prestaviš
radijska postaja 2: From the othersideeee
prestaviš
radijska postaja 3: It’s me..

Adele

Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.

U are

“You are what you eat… ”
I need to eat a fit person!

Oscar

Roses are red, violets are glorious, don’t try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

First “smart joke” about blonds ;)

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz. Preberi več

Pogreb

Agnes married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Preberi več

Razlogi za višjo plačo

The maid asked for a raise, and the wife was upset.

She asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?” Preberi več

5 modrih

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name.

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Oldies darilo za božič

Grandad: “When I was your age, all I’ve got for Christmas was an apple and a blackberry.

brawo

Boy: “WTF?!?!  A laptop and a mobile phone?!”

 

Malce tujih šal

What is 1,000 white people running down a hill?

Avalanche.

What is a 1,000 mexicans running down a hill?

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Audition

3 men (a Belgian, a German and a French) have an audition for a
new job in England. The interviewer tells them:
“OK, you’ll have to formulate a sentence with the 3 words: green, pink and yellow.”

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Woman and Man

Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr. in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;

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Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON’T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

(they don’t have enough time)
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